Which is why it’s up to men to have rational conversations about women’s gross bits.

I’m surprised there’s no footage of at least one of these men shuddering and muttering about how women have cooties.

Poor women. Not only are they ruled by their messy parts, but they think they have the right to say what’s done to those parts.

It’s amazing that these guys aren’t supportive of female-to-male sex changes, since, who would want to be a woman? Obviously, women should accept their places (beneath) men, but it should at least be understandable why some women want to be men. Sort of a modern version of penis envy.

And who wouldn’t want one?

After all, having a penis gives you the right to tell people who don’t have one what to do with their bodies. You can also be president. And have (and express!) opinions. You’ll be clapped on the back for bedding as many of the poor non-penis-owners (apenii?). If you pay even moderate attention to the result of all of that bedding you’ll be considered a ‘good dad’. You’re even allowed to wear a neutral expression without having strangers demand that you, ‘Smile!’ And you get to be desirable up into your 80s, rather than having a shelf life of twenty years (if you’re lucky).

Hell, if I didn’t think they seemed difficult to deal with in hot weather or when trying to get comfortable in bed at night, I’d want one, as well.

This reminds me of a section of Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg where Evelyn Couch realises the most powerful thing in the world are balls. She wants a pair because they give you the right to do anything you like.

I like this idea. Women could buy a pair (money would still define who had the most power-let’s not go too crazy) and whip them out whenever non-ball-having (anads?) people got too up themselves. I’d have an unwieldy set of brass cohones. They’d be like those Ben Wa balls with the bells inside so I wouldn’t need to bring them out-everyone would be able to hear them from several yards away.

Eventually, those poor natural-ball-having people would be jealous, but by then, the people with the biggest balls (women) would have control over men’s bodies.

Are testicles great because the people with the most power have them, or is it because they allow you to produce more children (which was desirable when the original set of power was being handed out)? A woman can only have one child a year, but a man could have hundreds in a year if he really put his…mind (ahem)… to it.

Now, having a great deal of children is a strain on men, as they are now required to support those children. So now the power lies in defining when and how many children are born. And that is untenable. Women must never be allowed to have any sort of power. Even if it’s over their own bodies.

What are men so afraid of? That, if women were put in charge, would subjugate men they way they’ve been doing to women for millenia?

No wonder they’re scared.

Here’s something to lighten the mood:

Hat Tip to Dorothy Snarker .